Eyes to Song
by Jaina Sanri
Summary: A collection of one-shot fics by me... Nowhere Man and Here I go Again up now.
1. Nowhere Man

Well, I really don't have time for writing the story I started so I'm going to hold off on that one for a little while but I'll try and post some one-shots in between. Here's the first: Nowhere Man  


None of this belongs to me- all JK Rowlings characters and the Beatle's lyrics... I only came up with the plot... _  
_

_- _

_He's a real nowhere man,  
Sitting in his nowhere land,  
Making all his nowhere plans  
For nobody.  
_

I watch him sometimes. No one knows or cares that I do, but still I sit in my chair with my eyes on the black haired boy across the room. He pours over books and charts, plans and diagrams. I can see the little figures moving on the parchment as he writes down the battle plans circling around in his head. Plan after plan comes out of his quill and they all go in the pile to the right for review later. To his left is the pile of finished plans and under him is the pile of crinkled pieces of parchment that didn't make the cut.

He sits there by himself every day. He's long since abandoned going to classes, and the teachers simply don't have the power to make him go. No one has the power to make him do anything anymore. In his sixth year his true powers started to emerge, blowing away everyone in surprise and then fear, but they had nothing to worry about. He started to learn on his own midway through sixth year, learning everything in every class plus more. He abandoned the classes that wouldn't help him in battle and became a war machine. Only Dumbledore wasn't surprised at the turn of his mind; he just seemed sad.

His friends began to turn away from him towards the end of last year. They found comfort in each other when they couldn't find the logic in Him. They couldn't understand why he would abandon the normal life they thought he wanted. They didn't even give him the chance to try and explain; they just left him. Slowly the magnificent trio became the love struck duo and the seclusionist.

I watch him now, making the plans that are helping us stay alive in this war. He spends all his time making sure that whoever is going into a battle is as safe as they can be. He's already invented a few new spells, and often goes away at night for long periods of time to secret meetings. I wait up for him every night when he does this- just to make sure he comes back. Another plan goes into the pile in the left and I see him smile- another life may be saved because of his work. One thing puzzles me though- what does he do it for?

_Doesn't have a point of view,  
Knows not where he's going to,  
Isn't he a bit like you and me? _

He never had a choice in this life. His point of view was decided for him before he even knew what he was fighting against. He came into this world without a shred of knowledge about anything in it, yet he fought to protect it. From day one his point in this war was clear. He started to fulfill it before he even knew it. Dumbledore told me today why Harry has put everything into this battle. I don't know how he knew I needed to be told, but he did. I can't imagine being the one who has fate resting on my shoulders. Sometimes I wonder how he does it all.

What will he do after the war ends? All he's every known- all he's ever worked for- was fighting. He knows nothing else. He's been driven on one way street and can't turn off. What will happen when he destroys Voldemort? What will he do? What will he have to live for? I see it in his eyes when I get a small glimpse of them. They're empty. There is no more life in those green orbs.

The war has changed all of us. He most of all, but us too. I lost a brother, others too have lost siblings, parents, friends. Everyone's eyes have lost a little life, but his have no more. He is the embodiment of all that's happening around here. Laughter is rare around Hogwarts now, but it's there in little pieces; I haven't seen him laugh for months.

_Nowhere man, please listen,  
You don't know what you're missing,  
Nowhere man, the world is at your command.  
_

I talked to him today- tried to get him to see what he was missing. I talked to him about friendship, about fun times, about smiles and good times. He didn't even look back at me. I talked about Ron, about Hermione and their new found relationship. I asked him if he wanted love. He didn't answer for almost a minute, and I was about to leave when he turned towards me and looked into my eyes.

I almost flinched back at the dark look in his eyes, but I held his gaze. He stared at me for a good thirty seconds before looking back down at the work on his desk and spoke two words, "what's love?" It broke my heart. I tried to get him to talk more but he didn't respond- just continued to work on the parchment in front of him.

_He's as blind as he can be,  
Just sees what he wants to see,  
Nowhere man can you see me at all? _

I see him in the hall, the common room, at the table at meals. I see him at night when he comes back from a meeting. I see him in between classes in a room he got Dumbledore to lend him. I stop by when I have a free minute to watch him as he practices and perfects difficult spells. Once I got to watch him as he was developing a new spell. I skipped transfiguration just to watch him work.

He doesn't seem to notice anything but what he wants to. I sit in the corner every night to watch him, but he never notices me. I wonder sometimes if he can even see me. He never acknowledges me- just keeps on working or walking or thinking.

_Nowhere man, don't worry,  
Take your time, don't hurry,  
Leave it all till somebody else  
Lends you a hand.  
_

I talked to him again today. I walked in on his new project – a counter curse to _turbatio conturbo._ He was pouring over books and parchment which were laid out in a circle around him. Every once and a while he would get up and test something on a dummy across the room. If it didn't work, he would close his eyes and have this expression of disappointment on his face that broke my heart every time I saw it.

I saw the first light of life in his eyes when he made it work. They lit up with joy as he managed to take the confusion away from the dummy. It was amazing to watch him work. I noticed little mannerisms of his over the past few months that He has. When he does spell work without a wand, he always makes sure to alternate hands, but when he uses his left hand, his right hand rests on his upper arm while when he uses his right hand, his left is clenched by his side. Or when he reviews something he bites the end of his sugar quill.

He noticed me standing in the doorway after he packed up all his materials. He looked up and met my eyes, those green orbs staring a hole right through my pupils into my soul. He motioned me to come and sit with him while he did his meditation. He's been doing more of that lately. I'm not sure where he picked it up, but he's developed a sense of peace in the last week that seems to come with it.

We sat for a long while- how much time actually passed I'll never know. Somewhere in the middle of his meditation he reached out and took my hands in his. The now callused hands felt rough but calming in mine. When he finally opened his eyes we talked. We talked about everything and nothing. He shared his hopes and dreams with me. He had noticed me looking at him all those days. It's what kept him going.

He told me of all the things that he had done over the past months and how it was all going to end at this year. We would find a way to destroy the evil that had seeped into the lives of everyone around him. He hoped that one day, after it was over I could help him learn how to live. Dumbledore had the Defense Teacher spot lined up for him when the war was over, and he planned on taking it. I woke the next morning with my head on his shoulder where I had fallen asleep the night before. His face looked peaceful as he slept against the hard wall next to him.

_He's a real nowhere man,  
Sitting in his nowhere land,  
Making all his nowhere plans  
For nobody._

Harry Potter is a true nowhere man. He sits in this room that nobody knows exists. When he walks around with others, nobody notices him. He makes the plans for the outside world all for nobody. I'm considering changing my name. I'll no longer be Ginny Weasley but Nobody.

-

Hope you enjoyed that!

-JS-


	2. Here I Go Again

Well, here's another one. Ask and ye shall recieve, MsMissProngs.

Characters belong to JK Rowling, lyrics to Whitesnake

_-_

_I don't know where I'm going  
But, I sure know where I've been  
Hanging on the promises  
In songs of yesterday_

I don't know where I'm going now. I suppose I could go back to school, or teach possibly. Maybe I could get a job at a shop, or at the ministry. Maybe I could go back and live with my god awful family, or maybe I could go back to the Burrow and impose myself again on that wonderful family. No, I couldn't do that. I've done enough damage to them. They lost two sons in this war- a war which I had to hold out longer and longer until I myself felt comfortable.

I know what I've done. It's thrown in my face by the entire world in praise. They promised happiness and peace. They sing about it now. Everywhere I go there are people singing or whistling that freedom tune, but not me. I was too involved in the horrors of that war to sing about it. I saw too many friends die in that war, and pushed too many away.

I know the meaning of "the man who won." To win means to kill. I know what it means to kill. I've done it now, and there's no going back. Just like now, I can't go back there.

_  
An' I've made up my mind,  
I ain't wasting no more time  
But, here I go again  
Here I go again  
_

I sit at my desk and write out letters to anyone and everyone. There's even a letter to the public. I've made up my mind about what I'm about to do, and I'm ready to do it. I've decided to take a break and do an independent study in Asia. I've been looking for peace and belonging my whole life.

I thought I found it when I discovered I was a wizard, but it was too good to be true. I was still different here. I was never just Harry. Either I was 'the boy who isn't worth the stuff on the bottom of your shoe" or "the boy who lived and is now the man who won." I never fit in anywhere. All I ever wanted was a normal life, in one world or the other. But it was not to last.

Now, I embark on a quest of my own to try and find the answers. When I get back in two years maybe I'll have found it and maybe I won't, but I have no doubt that I'll be at least one step closer to finding out where I belong: here, there, or somewhere else. As I pack up my trunk and put on new pair of robes, I take on last look around the room which has been my home for seven years now. It's the day after graduation and we were supposed to all leave on the train today back to London. Now, I'm going off again on my own, and I won't look back until I'm out of sight.

_  
Tho' I keep searching for an answer,  
I never seem to find what I'm looking for_

_I know what it means  
To walk along the lonely street of dreams  
_

It's been two years since I left Hogwarts at the end of seventh year. I've studied advanced defense with some monks in Japan for the majority of that time. The peace I wanted to find I've found. The meditation techniques of the monks I stayed with helped bring that to me. I've begun to accept what I did, and move on from that point in my life and open a new chapter.

It's this blank page I don't know what to do with. I know I belong in this world, but I think I've discovered what I need. I keep searching for the answer, but I can't seem to find what I'm looking for. Love seems to elude me. It shies away from me and gives a better chase than the snitch any day.

I've discovered what it's like to live the lonely life of dreams. I dream of love, but that love has no face, no body, no soul. I dream of love, but I can't imagine it. I've never been in love before, yet somehow I know that's what I need. I'm on my way back to London now after my trip to Asia, hoping that I'll find something to fill up that empty page.

_  
An' here I go again on my own  
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,  
I was born to walk alone  
_

Another five years has passed. I'm 25 now, and working as a teacher at Hogwarts. I found shortly after I returned to England that teaching was my calling. I remembered quickly how much I loved to watch others learn when I was asked to cover the Defense teacher position for a year until they found a replacement. I'm proud to say I've gotten rid of the curse I started by holding that position for another four years and counting.

It's also been wonderful to see my friends again. I've been traveling during my vacations, and have made it back to the Burrow for Christmas every year. Ron and Hermione are getting married this summer, now only a month away. It's great to see them so happy together, but every time I see it I am reminded of my solitude; It seems sometimes that I was born to walk alone.

_  
I'm just another heart in need of rescue,  
Waiting on love's sweet charity_

The wedding was beautiful. Hermione was in robes of stunning dark red and Ron in robes of dark brown. There was family and friends to fill the entire Great Hall of Hogwarts, where the ceremony and subsequent party took place. The joy emanating from the party was able to be felt all around the Castle that day, bringing a smile even to the face of Deputy Headmaster Snape.

The Headmistress officiated the wedding in robes of silver, showing a smile that appeared more often every day now. Dumbledore even made an appearance, the first time anyone had seen the old wizard since his retirement from Hogwarts after his nearly fatal battle with Tom.

The love shown that day still grows strong in Ron and Hermione's flat where they're expecting their first child. As happy as I am for them, I find myself drawing back as it makes me sad to see what I'm missing. Someday, I hope, I will have something as wonderful as them.

_  
I'm gonna hold on  
For the rest of my days,  
_

Four months ago, Charles Weasely was born, starting a new generation of Weaselys. Now, lucky for me, there is the opportunity for a new generation of Potters. Just twenty four hours ago, I was married to Ginny Potter (formerly Ginny Weasely); I plan on holding onto her for the rest of my days, and then some.

-

Hope you all enjoyed,

-JS-


End file.
